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Weak I

1 January 2026

No. 3,389 (cartoon)

Why no?

Wino!

Why not?

2 January 2026

What Have I Done Lately?

A couple of days ago, I completed my third decade of these daily notebook entries. And now that it’s a new calendar year, I’m asking myself, “But what have you done lately?” It’s the rhetorical question that I consider every day, and will probably be the next-to-the-last thought that goes through my mind before I pop my clogs.

I imagine my final thought will be “love,” but, as Ted Kennedy probably never said, “We’ll drive off that bridge when we come to it.”

3 January 2026

No Gooder Than Good

Who said that if you do something ten thousand times, you get pretty good at it? I suppose that would be easy to find out, but I’m too lazy.

And so, with ten thousand nine hundred and sixty-one daily entries under my conceptual belt, it follows that I should be almost ten percent better than good. Although thirty years is a long run, that means I only wrote an average of a hundred and twenty-five words a day. That sloth means I may be a decent writer, and certainly an indecent one on occasion, but I certainly ain’t gooder than good.

4 January 2026

A Small Mountain of Evidence

I don’t know how many pages of Epstein files the government had originally, but then bureaucrats found another million pages. And then they looked behind the couch—or something like that—and found over five million pages more.

Let’s do the numbers based on six million pages, shall we? Glad you concurred! Okay, so lemme see here ...

Jeffrey Epstein lived twenty-four thousand three hundred and eight days before he committed suicide, or was murdered, or something like that. That means there are an average of over ten pages of documentation for every hour of his life, a thirty-ton stack of papers six hundred meters high, or something like that.

Epstein should have been behind bars for life—and he eventually was—for abusing so many girls, but I suspect an ambitious prosecutor could send anyone to prison with that much evidence.

5 January 2026

Snark Denied

These Eight Artists Are Poised to Break Out in 2026

As soon as I saw that headline, I was prepared to make a snarky remark about how their jailers should double the guard, so I was disappointed when I saw that their work was too good to berate. I didn’t like it well enough to note their names, either. My highest praise is to plagiarize someone’s work, so I’m not going to bother following up on any of them.

6 January 2026

The Pig and the Sausage

I resisted the temptation to say something nasty yesterday, but Isla Fisher’s comment about her divorce was too wonderfully malicious to ignore.

“It’s not worth buying a whole pig just to get a little sausage.”

Touché!

7 January 2026

A Birthday Mystery

It’s my birthday today, and once again I’m mystified how I got to be the same age as old people.

8 January 2026

Sensible and Senseless Tragedies

Stephen Colbert opined that Renee Good’s murder was a senseless tragedy. That seemed self-evident; it certainly wasn’t a sensible tragedy.

Is “sensible tragedy” an oxymoron? Is driving a car into a wall after drinking a couple of liters of whisky a sensible tragedy?

Coming next weak: more of the same.

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©2026 David Glenn Rinehart