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Weak XXXVII

10 September 2025

No. 2,072 (cartoon)

Cheer up; things could be worse.

I’m devastated and hopeless; do you have any more trite platitudes?

Today is the first day of the rest of your strife.

11 September 2025

A Prudent, Rational Death

Consider these quotes, and pay attention: there’s going to be a quiz.

“The American Democrat party hates this country. They wanna see it collapse. They love it when America becomes less white.”

“The great replacement strategy, which is well underway every single day in our southern border, is a strategy to replace white rural America with something different.”

“Happening all the time in urban America, prowling Blacks go around for fun to go target white people, that’s a fact. It’s happening more and more.”

Here’s the first quiz question: Does that sound racist? Bonus point option: Does that sound like a white supremacist rant?

And now for part two:

“Reject feminism. Submit to your husband, Taylor. You’re not in charge.” (Free marital advice given to Taylor Swift, the billionaire and a half entertainer who’s the wealthiest woman in show business.)

“The answer is yes, the baby [of my raped ten-year-old daughter wouldn’t be aborted; it] would be delivered.”

And now for the second quiz question: Does that sound like a patriarch spouting off? Bonus point option: How ’bout misogynist?

And now, the last one on the test.

“America has freedom of religion, of course, but we should be frank: large dedicated Islamic areas are a threat to America .... Islam is not compatible with western civilization.”

For the final question, does this sound like a press release from the Christian Taliban? Bonus point option: the ranting of an Islamophobe?”

Those quotes come from one of Drumph’s pandering sycophants, Charlie Kirk, who was murdered yesterday. I’m not going to call him a racist, sexist, Islamophobe, though, for if I did, the current regime and its pasty vigilante terrorists might persecute and prosecute me for—now get this—hate speech.

Now, ain’t that a hoot!

George Orwell was such an optimist.

As for Kirk, I’m speculating that he might have called his demise a prudent, rational death if he had time to consider it after the bullet tore through his neck while discussing mass shootings.

“I think it’s worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the second amendment to protect our other God-given rights. That is a prudent deal. It is rational.”

12 September 2025

Sharpless 2-284

Imagine you live in a huge, cavernous warehouse, one so large that when you walk in the front door and turn on the light, the lumens take eight years to reach the other side. Well, that’s the kind of crib you’d need to store Sharpless 2-284, or Sh2-284 to its friends.

I’m talking about a rilly, rilly big protostar way the heck out there toward the edge of the Milky Way that’s blasting out a couple of stellar jets of cosmic debris that are—you guessed it—eight light-years long.

I only mentioned this spatial thang in order to imagine a warehouse eight light years long. If you kept Sh2-284, I suppose you wouldn’t have to worry about heating it, but how would you cool it? In any case, such a structure sounds like the only solution for hoarding, either way you splice and dice it.

My imaginary warehouse would also be ideal for musicians. Since sound travels much more slowly than light. I could set up a stage for the (c)rap musicians at the far end of the building, and it would take over seven million years for their idiotic nursery rhymes to reach the opposite side. I think that would have to make for peaceful coexistence.

13 September 2025

BRAINS!!!

A staggeringly stupid percentage of American “journalists” have devolved into a pack of pandering poodles trying to placate Hair Drumph. They should have figured out that kowtowing to dictators and bullies never works, but they do it anyway. They chose safety over integrity, and will soon be left with neither.

As a result of the collapse of the fourth estate, I have been forced to rely on the British Broadcasting Corporation to get an idea of what’s going on. Not great, but better than nothing on a good day. That’s how I learned things aren’t as bad as I feared: they’re several orders of magnitude worse.

I’m talking about the zombie apocalypse.

Here’s the relevant headline: ICE agent shoots dead man who tried to drive at agents, officials say. (The piece didn’t mention whether these were George Romero’s slow zombies or Zack Snyder’s fast zombies on methamphetamine. Again, sloppy reporting.)

The real news was buried in the accompanying article: “A spokesperson for the Department of Homeland Security said ICE had been trying to arrest the man, but he resisted and drove towards the group.”

Why were the latter-day Braunhemden trying to capture zombies instead of simply exterminating them? This is only a theory, but the brownshirts are trying to abduct the living dead to put them in control of all media outlets.

Have you ever noticed how Jeff Bezos, Larry Ellison, et al look like cadavers with the steely stare of robotic eyes? It’s something to think about while you’re nailing thick plywood over your windows.

14 September 2025

Counterrevolutionary Toilet Triumphs

Is China a communist country? I reckon ’tain’t so.

I don’t base that answer on anything I’ve heard from my friends deep in the bowels of the National Security Agency. No, there’s no need to overcomplicate and overthink this. I get my critical information straight from the filthy public toilets of Beijing, where users are forced to watch an ad on their mobile phones to obtain a single strip of toilet paper.

Apparently, no one in the Chinese Communist [sic] Party remembers the line about “... to each according to his needs” in Karl Marx’s Critique of the Gotha Programme. Forcing the proletariat to watch capitalist ads represents the triumph of the counterrevolutionaries. And pity the poor comrade who doesn’t have a mobile phone.

I think this is a perfect example of the difference between capitalism and communism. In capitalism, some people take advantage of other people, but under communism, it’s the other way around.

15 September 2025

Zambian Witches

Hakainde Hichilema is lucky to be alive after an attempted assassination. The would-be murderers didn’t plan on using guns, bombs, or the classic falling grand piano; they were more clever than that. According to courtroom testimony, they planned on doing away with the Zambian president using a live chameleon, a red cloth, an unidentified white powder, and an animal’s tail.

Witchcraft!

A Zambian judge sentenced the two witches—Leonard Phiri and Jasten Mabulesse Candunde—to two years of hard labor in prison. The brief news report I read didn’t provide many details, but I know all about witch trials after watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The floating or sinking test almost always provides unambiguous results, so that leaves me with only one question about the judicial proceedings.

What happened to the chameleon?

16 September 2025

Ambivalent Art School Hanging

Dahlia and I were walking around the art school when we saw a couple canvases tacked to a wall. I’m not talking about your standard canvas stretched on a wooden frame and covered in oil paint; these were large tarps that were apparently used in a studio to catch errant paint blobs, pencil shavings, turpentine spills, and all the disposable detritus of making analog art.

When I told Dahlia that I liked the way the anonymous artist turned the studio byproducts into products, she said that I was talking bollocks. (I wasn’t offended; she has a limited critical vocabulary and tells me that at least a dozen times on every visit.)

She insisted that the hangings weren’t art; she claimed that they were attached to the wall for students to sketch with a pencil as part of the art school hazing ritual known as “drawing class.”

I know I’m right; her interpretation may also be correct. But, since it’s only Art, who cares?

17 September 2025

The State of the State

I rarely allude to current events, and this is probably the first time in thirty years I’ve mentioned the same news story twice in one weak. This headline was so amazing that I felt compelled to reproduce it: Charlie Kirk’s murder suspect Tyler Robinson appears in anti-suicide vest as state seeks death penalty.

It’s easy to parse that, so I will: the state doesn’t want the accused man to harm himself to ensure that he’s in good health when the state kills him. It reminds me of the times when a defendant was found not guilty by reason of insanity, then the state provided enough therapy and mental health care to make her or him sane enough to execute.

The state of the state is surreal.

Coming next weak: more of the same.

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©2025 David Glenn Rinehart