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Weak I

1 January 2025

No. 1,932 (cartoon)

I feel more dead than alive.

What’s the difference?

It’s a fine line.

2 January 2025

David versus Titivillus, Year Thirty

Most people haven’t heard of Titivillus, but I have. Hoo boy, I certainly do know about Titivillus; this is the beginning of my thirtieth year in a row of combatting my indefatigable nemesis.

I’ll never give the devil any sympathy; Titivillus is the demon of distraction. Why, halfway through the preceding sentence I paused to see when the next rains were forecast. That’s not meteorological curiosity, that’s Titivillus at work. It’s going to be a long slog to make it to the end of this paragraph without roaming over to the reefer to see what my menu options are for lunch.

Titivillus also excels at introducing typos and other mistakes. If I was more ethical I’d cite him as a coauthor. Aletheia, the goddess of truth, has yet to even introduce herself, so it’s going to be the nasty little devil and me battling over the keyboard for another year.

I wonder if I have enough pasta from last Sunday for lunch?

3 January 2025

Not Dying from Nothing

The surgeon general says that there is a direct link between alcohol and cancer. What does that mean for you?

The Boston Globe asked me that question while I was having my first sips of coffee this morning. Even though I was barely awake, I had an immediate response: I think it’s great!

I enjoy an involuntarily healthy life. I haven’t had a car in decades, so I walk and ride my bike a lot. I’m too cheap to buy expensive, tasty, ultraprocessed foods, so I end up eating lots of vegetables, rice, beans, pasta, and the odd fish that swims my way. As a result, I’m in pretty good shape.

That’s why, after decades of headlines about how good beer and wine are for my fitness, I was relieved to read that alcohol may lead to sickness and perhaps even my demise.

I’d feel pretty stupid if I was old and dying from nothing.

4 January 2025

The Most Dangerous Job in the World

Occupational Safety and Health Administration statisticians say these are the four most dangerous lines of work: fishing, logging, roofing, and construction. Those numbers don’t even mention the most dangerous job in the world.

Tomiko Itooka, who held the position, died earlier this week. Her successor isn’t expected to spend much time in the post before she too meets her death. Yep; the oldest person in the world always dies at work.

I hope that never happens to me, if only because of the lack of privacy. Also, I can’t imagine how much pressure I’d feel knowing that billions of other people want my job. In addition, there’s no possibility of a promotion.

I don’t spend much time looking in life’s rearview mirror, and I’m not one to rest on my laurels, but I will humbly admit that decades ago I was universally recognized as the youngest person on the planet. I thought that was the easiest proposition in the world, but that was before I concluded that, for me, the only good job is no job.

5 January 2025

Fueling Tomorrow Tonight

There’s a new liquor store in Alameda called Liquor. That’s not a very imaginative name, but the marketing angle may be original. The owners are selling alcohol as food to, “Fuel Tomorrow.”

That’s a dubious claim unless they’re talking about fueling tomorrow’s headache. Truth in advertising isn’t very profitable, though, so I have to agree that promoting the nutritional benefits of booze is a clever if spurious claim that should appeal to thirsty alcoholics.

6 January 2025

Artificial Imbecility

Most of what I see on the Internet is homogenous. If I see one headline about a cute baby hippopotamus today I’m almost guaranteed to see the same thing dozens of times tomorrow. That’s why this slug in Eco News stood out: Traffic lights will have a fourth color in 2025.

?!

The article was hallucinatory gibberish. The piece was clearly written—no, make that unclearly written—by some sort of computer algorithm and had never been edited by a human.

Edwin O., the alleged author, repeatedly referred to “AVs” without explaining the acronym. At least one sentence wasn’t capitalized. Here’s an excerpt describing why traffic lights will have a white light in addition to red, yellow, and green later this year.

The function of the white light depends massively on the “vehicle-to-everything” or V2X technique. For instance, at an intersection of four approaches full of other cars and pedestrians, AVs will control the traffic depending on vehicle concentration and movement of people. Observing white light, human drivers only have to follow the vehicle in front of them.

I thought this was a great example of the next generation of codswallop generated by AI, Artificial Imbecility. The initial crop was produced by computer programs that had been trained on analyzing, digesting, and regurgitating mostly coherent paragraphs based on the content and style of established publishers. And now, the same machines will be learning how to write news stories by reading Eco News.

Crappy new year!

7 January 2025

Old People and Me

It’s my birthday, and I should have seen it coming. But I didn’t. How is it possible that I’m the same age as old people?

8 January 2025

The Old Goat with the Beautiful Woman

I don’t believe in astrology. I do know that my astrological animal is a goat, so when I saw an old goat with a beautiful woman in a storefront window I couldn’t resist photographing them together.

Coming next weak: more of the same.

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©2025 David Glenn Rinehart