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Weak IX

26 February 2011

No. 4,613 (cartoon)

I can always tell an idiot.

But you can’t tell it much.

27 February 2011

Hollywood Uniform

Tonight’s the night when the Hollywood movie industry dba The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences gives itself a collective rotator cuff injury. Every man attending this evening’s award ceremony is wearing the same uniform, a tuxedo. I think that’s a fitting tribute to the kind of creative thinking for which the film industry is widely recognized.

28 February 2011

Jerry’s Refuge

I’m slowly getting to know more people at my marina, most recently Jerry. He described himself as a wealthy investor, so I asked him why he was living on such a small boat.

“So my thirty-year-old daughter Megan can’t possibly move in with me,” he explained.

Many of my friends have great children, but I’m still quite glad that I’m barren.

1 March 2011

A Most Verbose and Grandiose Title

Suzette’s delighted that Muammar Gaddafi may soon be overthrown.

“He’d be hilarious if he wasn’t so brutal and dangerous,” she opined. “I mean, what other despot would choose the rank of colonel?”

Having recently read the news, I was familiar with the buffoon’s real title, although I had to visit the Internet to jog my memory. He’s the Brotherly Leader and Guide of the First of September Great Revolution of the Socialist People’s Libyan Arab Jamahiriya. I hope the title is amended to the Former Brotherly Leader and Guide of the First of September Great Revolution of the Socialist People’s Libyan Arab Jamahiriya before more people die.

2 March 2011

The Fast Track to Tolerable Mediocrity

Juanita recently told me that Bruce Barnbaum’s The Art of Photography is one of the best books she’s read on the subject. She said Barnbaum also disdains idiotic “creative” formulae such as The Rule of Thirds.

I just poke fun at such nonsense, but Barnbaum has a more interesting perspective. He notes that such conventions are, “... mindless things that raise you quickly to a level of acceptable mediocrity, then prevent you from progressing further.”

Perhaps Barnbaum and I are being too harsh on happy amateurs. There may be something to be said for a fast track to tolerable mediocrity, if the preponderance of it is any indication.

3 March 2011

The Braille Superstore

I’ve been trying to invent things to amuse myself and perhaps others daily for over fifteen years. Some efforts are better than others, but none is unambiguously brilliant. That’s not in my vocabulary.

I was reminded of my personal ceiling when I came across this superb bit of advertising copy.

“The Braille Superstore: Thousands of Braille products, many of which you’ve never seen before!”

I thought I was done citing Martin Mull’s quote, “None is so blind as he who cannot see.” Obviously, I was wrong.

I have no idea whether the bad taste was intentional or a happy accident, but it doesn’t matter. Such an achievement is out of my league.

4 March 2011

BUOY

I made BUOY, another of my four-letter films, when I was in Taiji a couple of weeks ago. I don’t know if it was being in the land of the rising sun or all of the dolphin blood I photographed, but somehow the color red made it past my chromophobe filters. It will be an easy mistake to fix, if I ever do.

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©2011 David Glenn Rinehart