2008 Notebook: Weak XLII
gratuitous image
16 October 2008
No. 9,227 (cartoon)
I want you to kiss me.

That would violate my Hippocratic oath.

We shouldn’t even be having sex.

17 October 2008
House of Blood
I was talking with Vivian about photography, and telling her about how much I missed using my beautifully-machined film cameras such as Leicas, Rolleis, and ...

“House of blood?!” Vivian interrupted.

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“You just said you used a house of blood,” she explained.

It took us a while to establish that she was talking about my Hasselblad cameras.

I do miss my Hasselblad, and if I ever replace the film holder with a digital back, I shall rename the camera House of Blood.

18 October 2008
Abhorring Vacuums
I read a news report that vigilant police in Thomas Township, Michigan, arrested a man for allegedly “receiving sexual favors from a vacuum.”

As anyone who’s perused the 4 July 1980 issue of the British Medical Journal knows, some men seem to have a curious fondness for vacuum cleaners, but today’s story is perhaps the first time anyone has put forward the anthropomorphic suggestion that a vacuum cleaner ever did a favor for anyone.

Nature abhors the situation, and I’d wager that Sergeant Gary Breidinger does too.

19 October 2008
Art Is Work
I ran across a problematical quote I liked this morning.

I am going to be rather hard-nosed and say that if you have to find devices to coax yourself to stay focused on writing, perhaps you should not be writing what you’re writing. And if this lack of motivation is a constant problem, perhaps writing is not your forte. I mean, what is the problem? If writing bores you, that is pretty fatal. If that is not the case, but you find that it is hard going and it just doesn’t flow, well, what did you expect? It is work; art is work.

The problem is that Ursula K. Le Guin said that. How can I quote someone who writes about wizards and dragons? I think I will anyway; I've gone this far without worrying about appearances.

20 October 2008
Watching Electrocutions
I’ve never seen anyone or anything get electrocuted, but if I do I’ll know what to look for. If someone’s getting electrocuted with direct current electricity, s/he’ll be frozen in place. If the body’s shaking from spasms, though, that’s the result of alternating current electricity. I’d ask what happens when someone’s electrocuted by both types of electricity simultaneously, but I’m afraid that might inspire someone to find out.

21 October 2008
A Passion for Indolence
Thia asked me why I was generally so happy.

“Passion,” I replied.

“I don’t want to hear about it,” Thia replied with perhaps a blush, “I don’t want to know about your personal life.”

“Don’t worry,” I responded, “I’m talking about a passion for indolence.”

“You can’t have a passion for indolence,” Thia insisted, “that’s oxymoronic.”

“You’re confusing aggression with passion,” I suggested. “Once you tap into your true hebetude, I think you’ll find a fervor for languor.”

I wasn’t bothered when Thia heaped abuse on my proposition; it’s her loss.

last weak  |  index  |  next weak

©2008 David Glenn Rinehart