Last Weak  |  Index  |  Next Weak

Weak XXXI

30 July 2026

No. 6,175 (cartoon)

Time flies.

Jets crash.

It’s funny how science and the universe work sometimes, innit?

31 July 2026

I’m Not Dead Yet

Isabella sent me a post from a couple weeks ago and asked me if I was dead.

David Reinhart, a 57-year-old San Francisco resident, was struck while cycling through the intersection of Sixth and Tehama streets on July 14.

I was a bit concerned when I read that. People misspell my name all the time, I used to live in that neighborhood, and I suppose that I may look like I’m fifty-seven if you’re rather inebriated and looking for your spectacles. I was tempted to call Isabella and thank her for letting me know about my recent undemise, but instead I enjoyed the outro of The Raconteurs’ Somedays (I Don’t Feel Like Trying).

I'm here right now, I'm not dead yet
I'm here right now, I'm not dead yet
I'm here right now, I'm not dead yet
I'm here right now, I'm not dead yet
I'm here right now, I'm not dead yet
I'm here right now, I'm not dead yet
I'm here right now, I'm not dead yet
I'm here right now, I'm not dead yet
I'm here right now, I'm not dead yet
I'm here right now, I'm not dead yet
I'm here right now, I'm not dead yet
I'm here right now, I'm not dead yet
I'm here right now, I'm not dead yet
I'm here right now, I'm not dead yet
I'm here right now, I'm not dead yet
I'm here right now, I'm not dead yet
I'm here right now, I'm not dead yet
I'm here right now, I'm not dead yet
I'm here right now, I'm not dead yet
I'm here right now, I'm not dead yet

A happy tune indeed, even without the whistling. Especially without the whistling.

1 August 2026

KILL YOUR INTERNET

A geek friend of mine was in the right place at the right time with the right thing and, to use his words, he won the Internet lottery. In practice, that means he has as much money as I have oxygen: all he’ll ever need, and then some.

He’s smart enough to know that there are many other currencies much more valuable than the dollar, so he enjoys a life rich in friends and ideas, not ostentatious possessions. My favorite example is the old bumper sticker on his decades-old car. I rarely have the opportunity to photograph an enigma; that’s why I made one of my rare documentary photographs, KILL YOUR INTERNET.

2 August 2026

The Slaveholders’ Rebellion

Here’s my favorite headline d’jour:

It Wasn’t a Civil War. It Was the Slaveholders’ Rebellion.

After that, I didn’t need to read Anthony Conwright’s essay, but I did anyway and found two more sentences that elaborated on the succinct slug.

During the war and in its aftermath, it was primarily called an “insurrection” or a “rebellion.” Its current name is a result of decades of lobbying by Confederate heritage groups and white Southerners committed to rejuvenating the South’s image and ignoring its treason and slaveholding.

And the white powerwashing continues to this day from the new headquarters at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, DC 20500.

3 August 2026

Girlfriendesque

Catsitting is a symbiotic relationship, so I’m not sure if I’m taking care of Lizzie and/or if she’s taking care of me. And, like any good relationship, a bit of healthy friction is salubrious.

I was sitting at my computer this afternoon when Lizzie hopped up on the table, stepped between my face and my monitor, and told me in so many feline words that I was ignoring her and paying too much attention to my computer.

“You remind me of an old girlfriend,” I replied.

“The one who brought me tuna or the one who gave me salmon?” she asked.

I did me some serious ponderation even though I had little data review, then answered, “All of ’em.”

4 August 2026

Keep Your Claws Sharp!

I recently wrote three sentences I like, but, since they’re the copy for my voicemail answering machine [sic], no one can read them ... until now.

If you’re in a deep hole and this is an emergency, stop digging, hang up, and dial eight one one. If this ain’t an emergency, then bully for you! Please leave a message for David, and keep your claws sharp!

(I know my groceries, so I continue to make a less-than-insignificant effort to keep the beatniks’ “Keep your claws sharp!” part of our living language.)

5 August 2026

Google and I Are Eliminating Superpollutants

Bernie said I was being “too hard on Google” when I wrote about the company virtually abandoning its “Don’t be evil” policy. He asked me to reconsider since the corporation has pledged fifty million dollars on “projects designed to eliminate superpollutants” over the next five years.

Let’s see; Google had a hundred and thirty-two billion—that’s million with a “b”—dollars in net income last year, so that generous contribution works out to be about forty minutes of profits a year.

After doing the math, I’ve decided to match Google’s munificence. I can’t afford to match the corporate behemoth dollar for dollar, but I will contribute an equal percentage of my discretionary income: twenty-seven cents a year.

Now that I’ve done the math, I wonder where I send the check?

6 August 2026

Chicken Skin Wok

Dahlia’s carnivorous cousin Enrico is coming to dinner, so she asked Abbie for a “cheap and cheerful” meat recipe. I’ll pass it along as a public disservice.

Chicken à la Emperor

Put chicken skins, plucked, in a large wok and cook over high heat until edible. Optional: add a large dollop of lard for extra gusto!

The cold, greasy chicken dermas had a grotesque visual appeal before they were rendered, so thirty-some million pixels later I made Chicken Skin Wok.

Coming next weak: more of the same.

Last Weak  |  Index  |  Next Weak
©2026 David Glenn Rinehart