2008 Notebook: Weak XXII
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28 May 2008
No. 8,068 (cartoon)
Does it matter that nothing matters?

Self-evidently not.

29 May 2008
The Best Seat in the House
I went to a talk with Victor last night; neither of us enjoyed the presentation.

“At least I had the best seat in the house,” Victor said.

“The one on the couch next to the most attractive woman in the audience?” I asked.

“The one on the couch next to the most attractive woman in the audience” Victor confirmed.

30 May 2008
I listened to an interview with a couple of men who specialize in setting up computer networks in some of the most remote parts of Africa. The dust and brutal heat poses many technical problems with the electronics, and then there’s the eternal problem of computer software.

“We came up with an operating system no one can fuck with,” the lead engineer explained.

‘It’s unfuckwithable,” his associate confirmed.

Maybe yes, maybe no. I’m skeptical; I don’t think I’ll live long enough to use a thoroughly reliable computer.

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31 May 2008
Eight Japanese Views, Thrice Removed
I never tire of looking into Jamie’s eyes. And so, I made several photographs of them; now I can look at Eight Japanese Views, Thrice Removed any time. Ah, Sansei; what more can I say?

1 June 2008
Better Than Thinking for Myself
I told Cecelia about the Coco Chanel quote I just heard; “There is time for work. And time for love. That leaves no other time.”

“But what about fun?” she asked.

“Ah,” I replied, “That reminds me of Noel Coward’s proposition, ‘Work is more fun than fun.’”

I love my collection of quotes; it’s so much easier to repeat other people’s observations than to think for myself.

2 June 2008
Drunker Than Me
Cedric called me to tell me about a computer problem, and he certainly was drunk. Legless, brains-in-a-bucket drunk. He was slobbering his speech, and complaining about technical woes that could not possibly exist. He was tediously annoying, and by the end of the conversation he was even more confused than he was when he called.

Dang; I hate it when my friends are drunker than I am.

3 June 2008
Spinach Bone
I was enjoying a pleasant lunch with Antoinette until I discovered a bone in my salad. When I pointed this out to the waiter, he just shrugged.

“Sorry,” he replied, “but the owner insists on buying genetically engineered spinach, even though there’s always something wrong with it.”

He examined the bone.

“That’s a spinach bone, alright,” he declared. “I’ll tell you what; I won’t charge you for the salad. How’s that?”

Spinach bone?!

4 June 2008
Six-pack Meditation
Before we opened the first frosty can, Conrad and I paused briefly to meditate on the six-pack of Rainier Ale on the table before us.

“The English buy their beer in four-packs,” I said. “That’s why we’re at least fifty percent better off than them.”

“The six-pack is a perfect example of how good things come in pairs of three,” Conrad added.

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©2008 David Glenn Rinehart