2008 Notebook: Weak XX
gratuitous image
15 May 2008
No. 6,810 (cartoon)
I’m infatuated.

You’re cursed.

I never could tell the difference.

16 May 2008
Classical Mechanics
A few days ago, a Japanese robot conducted the Detroit Symphony. I’m not surprised; it seems like a logical progression in “classical” music. After all, Frank Zappa called orchestra musicians “mechanics” for a reason. Why grown adults sit around all day for decades on end taking musical orders from guys who died a century or two ago, this I do not know.

17 May 2008
Uncompromising Conversation
Isabella chastised me for “publishing outrageous lies.”

“You know as well as anyone that I couldn’t post anything on the Internet that wasn’t true,” I replied.

“That’s another lie!” Isabella exclaimed. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about.”

“Let’s compromise,” I suggested. “You have to agree that a lot of the lies are true.”

Isabella wouldn’t compromise, so I changed the subject. After all, there’s no point arguing with someone who won’t make any concessions.

18 May 2008
An Annoying Romance
Bernie’s in love, and he’s letting everyone know it. Romance is wonderful and exciting, but hearing about someone else’s experience ad nauseam is not.

“It sounds like she deserves a good husband,” I observed. “You should marry her before she finds one.”

That shut him up, albeit for less than an hour.

19 May 2008
Inscrutability Redux
One week ago today, a massive earthquake killed tens of thousands of Chinese. To commemorate the tragedy, Chinese officials today called for three minutes of silence. So far, so predictable.

Now, here’s the curious part of the remembrance. According to the news report I read, during the silent observance, “air raid sirens blared, along with horns from cars, ships and trains.”

I appreciate that the Chinese appreciate a very different culture from mine, but I never realized how disparate they were until I heard about using sirens and horns to engage in silence. Inscrutability redux.

20 May 2008
Kennedy Brains
“Ooh, look at Kennedy’s brain!” Dahlia shrieked.

Dahlia was referring to an image in the newspaper showing medical evidence of Ted Kennedy’s brain cancer. The senator’s prognosis is grim; his flavor of cancer usually kills quickly.

John Kennedy’s brains were splattered by an assassin’s bullet, and now his brother’s are also on public display. It makes the assassination the third brother look relatively benign; at least Robert ended up in a pool of blood with his skull intact.

21 May 2008
Enrico’s Absence Quantified
Enrico has yet to master the nuances English, and that leads to some amusing exchanges.

“The wine is all out,” Enrico announced, “I will go to buy more bottles.”

“How long will you be gone?” I asked.

My straightforward question perplexed Enrico.

“I will be gone until I return,” he explained.

I probably should have given him a quick English tutorial, but, since that would have delayed his refueling mission, I just smiled and nodded.

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©2008 David Glenn Rinehart