2007 Notebook: Weak XXXV
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28 August 2007
No. 5,587 (cartoon)
Why can’t you stop hurting me?

Because I really haven’t started.

29 August 2007
Locked Up by the Gills?
I read that a seven-year old girl named Alisha [no surname provided] foiled a robbery by telling the thief accosting her mother at a gas station to, “back away, back away, man.” Alisha chased the armed robber, but he got away. And a good thing for him, too, for Alisha had some harsh punishment in mind.

“He should be locked up by his gills,” she declared, “and towed to the police.”

30 August 2007
Quoting Beulah
I was talking with my mother this afternoon about this, that, and the other thing, when she remarked, “In a hundred years no one will know the difference.” I told her I liked that line, and was surprised to learn that she was quoting Beulah, her mother and my grandmother.

How ’bout them apples? I remember Beulah using that phrase frequently, and another one as well.

“You’re a good boy,” she’d often say to me, “and when I find out what you’re good for I’ll let you know.”

Unfortunately, she went to her grave without ever telling me.

31 August 2007
More than a Clever Title
I’ve been reading a number of reviews of Marcus Chown’s book, The Never-Ending Days of Being Dead. I love the brilliant title, but can’t figure out what the volume’s about after reading half a dozen assessments. This could be one of those unusual circumstances where I may actually need to read the book.

1 September 2007
Fiona’s Liquidity Event
At first, I didn’t understand what Willy meant when he said he was going to “Fiona’s liquidity event.” Willy then told me that Fiona explained, “You can marry more money in a day than you can earn in a lifetime.”

“Fiona sounds like a real sweetheart,” I opined.

“Well, at least she’s not innumerate,” Willy replied. “It’s a practical wedding, and I’m going there because they’re serving enough salmon to choke a blue whale.”

I decided to have a liquidity event of my own, and grabbed a couple of cans of Rainier Ale from the refrigerator.

2 September 2007
A Mignon Fogarty Smile
I’ve been listening to Grammar Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing for some time. The broadcasts haven’t noticeably helped my grammar, but that’s not why I listen to them. I know that Grammar Girl’s real name is Mignon Fogarty, and just thinking about the name, Mignon Fogarty, makes me smile.

Mignon Fogarty, Mignon Fogarty, Mignon Fogarty, try it!

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©2007 David Glenn Rinehart