2006 Notebook: Weak XXXII
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7 August 2006
No. 5,633 (cartoon)
You have destroyed me.

We’ve only just begun.

8 August 2006
Somnambulantly Creative?
I just checked, and I have 400,189 individual pieces of data on my primary computer’s hard disk. That amounts to creating almost twenty-two files a day, on average, every day since I was born. How can this be?!

Let’s see, I have maybe thirty-thousand songs, almost four thousand of these notebook entries, and perhaps a few thousand letters. Even with lots of programs and a rather convoluted operating system, that leaves maybe eighty-percent of the files unaccounted for.

I shall have to investigate this; perhaps I’ve been somnambulantly creative?

9 August 2006
Robin Williams, Quitter?
The comedian and actor Robin Williams recently started drinking again after a twenty-year hiatus. (Who wouldn’t have a powerful thirst after two dry decades?) I know this because his publicist Mara Buxbaum sent out a passel of press releases, adding that Williams is seeking rehabilitation.

How strange; I think Williams has way too much money. After all, I don’t need a publicist to let everyone I know when I’ve had too much to drink.

I hope Williams finds some balance between famine and feast. After all, rehab really is for quitters.

10 August 2006
Margaret’s Memorable Bounce
Magaret’s cats kill newts and/or lizards and/or miscellaneous little amphibians and/or reptiles. And so, I thought she’d appreciate the Internet coordinates for “What Jeff Killed,” a photojournalists’s look at cat who enjoys the same cold-blooded prey.

As is so often the case, I thought wrong. In response to my mail, Margaret sent me a terse, three-word reply: “This upset me.”

I was upset that I’d upset a dear friend, so I called Margaret to terminate the spiral of upsetness.

“I’m sorry you didn’t like Jeff’s stories,” I began, “but since you grew up on a Montana ranch, I thought you’d be familiar with such carnage.”

“My father was a sensitive person,” Margaret replied, “and always took us on vacation at slaughter time. It didn’t always work, though. One time when I was twelve or so I came back to discover a new trampoline.”

“Do tell,” I said.

“Well, I was jumping up and down on my new, bouncy, blue-grey-purple trampoline, only to discover that I was playing on a pile of cows’ stomachs,” she explained, adding, “Cows have lots of them, you know, just like your computers have lots of hard drives.”

“Margaret, your story is most upsetting,” I lied.

Now that my faux perturbation offset Margaret’s genuine dismay, we can return to our delightful equilibrium. Meanwhile, I keep wondering how difficult it would be to make a film of a ranch girl frolicking on a mound of bovine innards.

11 August 2006
Palliative Care for Me!
I have a rather limited vocabulary, which works well for me in that it makes it easy to enjoy the pleasure of discovering new words. Today’s discovery is, “palliative care, relieving pain or alleviating a problem without dealing with the underlying cause.”

What a great idea! Turns out that I’ve been enjoying palliative care for decades without knowing the proper name.

12 August 2006
Intentionally Seductive Evasive Action
I went to the exhibit hall for ISEA (International Symposium of Electronic Art) in San Jose, where I had the pleasure of sneaking in without paying. And that’s where the fun ended. I found a number of impenetrably complex presentations, none of which appealed to someone with the attention span of a goldfish with Attention Deficit Disorder. (That would be me.)

I long ago stopped investing more than a minute of time to discover what an alleged artist was trying to do or say, after repeatedly discovering that complexity usually masked stupidity, ineptitude, or worse.


A pox on the International Symposium of Electronic Art. From now on, when it comes to ISEA, I’m going to explore the International Safety Equipment Association, the International Society of Exposure Analysis, the Iowa State Education Association, the International Sports Engineering Association, the Institute of Social and Ethical Accountability, et cetera.

Or maybe not; I think I’ll avoid anything with the ISEA acronym, unless it’s something spectacularly useful like Intentionally Seductive Evasive Action.

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©2006 David Glenn Rinehart