2005 Notebook: Weak XXIII
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5 June 2005
No. 3,691 (cartoon)
There’s no one alive in here.

Who said that?

6 June 2005
Dora’s Perfect Korean Diet
Dora knows a bit about nutrition, so I paid attention when she told me that broccoli stalks are full of anticarcinogenic thingies. Damn! And all this time I’ve been cutting off the stems and cooking the florets.

After I expressed gratitude for that bit of vegetable knowledge, Dora added that uncooked cabbage is good for the liver of someone who may, on occasion, drink more than is prudent. Why she happened to mention that to me, I cannot imagine.

“So does this mean,” I asked, “that I can drink prodigiously in Korea as long as I eat the massive amounts of kimchi I’m anticipating?”

“It might help your liver by a sliver,” she said, “although I suspect there’s not much to be done at this point.”

7 June 2005
Unconventionally Conventional
Sometimes I wonder if I’m spending too much time in San Francisco. For example, this morning I did something completely usual, normal, and predictable. I felt a bit uncomfortable being so conventional, since it’s conventional to be unconventional here.

My little brain hurts.

8 June 2005
(Not) Oddly Enough
I sent Brad a brief email missive, then received a reply a few minutes later. Brad’s missive began, “Oddly enough, I was just thinking of you before you wrote.”

I replied that good, albeit distant, friends thinking about each other at the same time didn’t really qualify as “oddly enough.”

Within the hour, Brad emailed an image of two panda bears having sex in the Beijing aquarium. A great white shark watches in the corner of the frame; the ferocious fish seems oblivious to the panda’s menstrual blood.

Too bad about the pandas’ survival prospects. Still, I have to agree that Brad delivered on his initial promise of “oddly enough.”

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9 June 2005
Magic Wand Documentation Omission
Clarissa showed me the user guide for her new Hitachi Magic Wand.

“Look at this diagram of the fourteen contact points,” she said. “Does it look right to you?”

“I don’t know anything about that feng-shooey acupuncture stuff,” I replied. “Let’s have a look.”

Upon further detailed exploration, we discovered that the sloppy tech writers in Tokyo failed to identify number fifteen and/or number one.

10 June 2005
The Chris Stare
I apologized to Chris for staring at her when we met; I explained that since she was so tall it took a long time to look at all of her. She accepted my apology, and we enjoyed a spectacular evening.

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©2005 David Glenn Rinehart