2004 Notebook: Weak XXXIX
gratuitous image
25 September 2004
No. 6,137 (cartoon)
What do you call a headless dog?

Deaf? Dead?

Why call it anything? It’s not going to come.

26 September 2004
Dietary Prejudices
Freida’s brother Hubert from North Dakota is visiting her here in San Francisco, so she decided to take him out for the kind of meal that’s not readily available in small, rural communities.

Unfortunately, the evening didn’t go very well. Freida took Hubert to a very good sushi restaurant, but Hubert wasn’t biting. Freida said they ended up eating some wretched hamburgers after Hubert announced, “I don’t eat bait.”

27 September 2004
A Lot More Less Controllable
Francine came by the lab tonight, and regaled me with tales from her various adventures and excesses.

“You would appear to be wilder than ever,” I opined after she told me the story about the airline pilot and the frozen oysters.

“I wouldn’t exactly put it that way,” she replied with a curious smile, “let’s just say I’m a lot more less controllable.”

28 September 2004
Heat Erasure
I need to preface this story with a preface. I barely speak one language, and thus am in no position to put down anyone who speaks more than one language, especially when the person in question is smarter than me, as is the case with this anecdote.

A friend from Thailand mentioned during the course of a lovely dinner that he was putting the cover back on the bowl of rice, “so that the heat won’t be erased.” He immediately corrected himself, then we all had a good laugh. I quite like the idea of heat erasure; it’s something I never would have concocted myself.

29 September 2004
Gandhi versus Business Casual Dress
Some Greenpeace apparatchik sent me an invitation to a “book event” at the organization’s headquarters in Washington D.C., “in the conference room we have affectionately titled, Gandhi.” Ironically, the invitation also suggested, “Business Casual dress.”

I wonder what the would-be environmentalists would do if Mahatma Gandhi showed up at a “Business Casual dress” event in a loincloth?

I appreciated the invitation; I laughed all day and well into this otherwise quiet night.

30 September 2004
Cardboard Mirror
Eva and I enjoyed a lovely reunion this afternoon. I hadn’t seen her in over a decade, and she was exactly as I remembered her. She was so radiant that she could use cardboard for a mirror.

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©2004 David Glenn Rinehart