2004 Notebook: Weak XVIII
gratuitous image
1 May 2004
No. 4,943 (cartoon)
You’re just completely fucked.

In the negative or positive sense of the word?

You’re just so very completely fucked.

2 May 2004
Going Far, Now
Janice sent her ex-boyfriend Phillip packing with a firm kick in the derrière followed by a quick kiss.

“You’ll go far,” she assured him.

“You really think so?” he asked disingenuously.

“Yes,” Janice assured him. “Please start now.”

3 May 2004
What Art?
Emilita asked me what I was up to recently, so I gave her my standard reply: “debauchery and art.’

“Tell me about the art,” she said.

I really haven’t been making much recently, so I invented some stories about purported pieces in progress. I liked my improvised descriptions of the alleged works so much that I might actually create them.

Next week, maybe. Perhaps.

4 May 2004
Staring Is Caring
After dinner at Shonagh’s studio, she showed me some incredible new paintings.

“Congratulations; looks like you’ve found a rich, new vein,” I said. And then, because, I’m a complete idiot, I decided to add a Californian phrase, “sharing is caring.”

“Staring is caring,” Shonagh corrected in perfect Canadian.

5 May 2004
Backup Reptile Brain
I’m experiencing an unusually unusual morning: nothing’s happening. All of the molecules and atoms here at the lab are completely stationary. None of the synapses in my human brain are firing; if I didn’t have such a thick skull I think my skull would implode. At times like these I’m grateful I have a backup, reptile brain that allows me to make coffee and type drivel.

6 May 2004
Fragrant Delicto
I love San Francisco’s laissez faire cultural climate; most people here are fairly open-minded. Every so often, though, someone like Mahdi Allah nevertheless manages to raise an eyebrow or two.

A worker at a local business discovered Allah drunk and unconscious on top of his sex partner in a back room; that sort of thing that happens all the time. The details make the story, so here they are. The business is the Hogan, Sullivan & Bianco Chapel of the Sunset, and Allah sex partner was an elderly woman who’d been dead for quite some time. And the final detail is this: it turns out that necrophilia is not illegal.

Every few years someone gets caught in fragrant, flagrante delicto, and that’s followed by an hour two of public shock and revulsion. By quitting time, though, all the politicians have moved on to another concern, so they’ve never gotten around to making sex with a corpse illegal.

And life goes on, unless you’re dead.

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©2004 David Glenn Rinehart