2003 Notebook: Weak LII
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25 December 2003
No. 1,264 (cartoon)
There’s an obese old man on the roof.

He’s trying to get down the chimney.

Let’s kill him.

26 December 2003
Catching Up On Films
I’ve never seen the Orson Welles film, Citizen Kane. Everyone who hears that fact expresses shock and surprise, as if I’ve never tasted coffee or swam in the ocean. There are many films I plan on seeing mañana (I believe that’s Spanish for “one of these days”), but I’m in no hurry to do so.

One of the reasons I’m so behind in watching films is that I generally prefer to create than consume. Also, I think viewing movies is a solitary activity. When I’m with friends, I prefer to interact with them instead of sitting in silence.

Most of the films I’d like to see will be available for the rest of my life, so there’s no sense of urgency. In fact, procrastination pays when it comes to viewing films. For example, a team of researchers, historians, and editors recently released many of Charlie Chaplin’s films in better condition than they could have been seen a decade or two ago.

Anyway, tonight I finally saw Citizen Kane. I thought it was a decent piece of work, but still don’t understand what all the fuss was about.

27 December 2003
The Longest Interval
Harriet told me the longest period of her life was the brief interval between the moment she knew she was going to crash and the actual impact. Harriet’s dead; she told me this in a dream so I have no idea whether or not it’s objectively true.

I suppose the veracity of this story, like almost everything else, doesn’t really matter.

28 December 2003
Cheap and/or Fast and/or Good
I’m amazed at how many of my learned friends are unfamiliar with the cheap-fast-good formula. It works like this: when you have a business proposition that involves labor, you can pick any two of the three options on the cheap-fast-good menu. Thus you can have good and fast, cheap and good, or fast and cheap, but never all three.

The logic is obvious after due consideration, but, then again, everything’s obvious after due consideration.

29 December 2003
Painting More But Enjoying It Less?
Sean said he responded to an advertisement with the headline, “Painting More But Enjoying It Less?”

“Why’d you do that?” I asked.

“Well,” Sean replied, “I actually have been painting more and enjoying it less.”

“So,” I continued, “are you painting less and enjoying it more?”

“Not really,” Sean admitted. “It turns out that the ad was for some institution called Connie’s Academy of Conceptual Art.”

“Sounds promising to me,” I said, “except for the academy part. Being a conceptual artist has allowed me to make work and have a real life, more or less.”

“Maybe yes, maybe no,” Sean responded. “I just couldn’t imagine being associated with CACA.”

“I like Connie,” I concluded. “It’s all caca, but at least she had the huevos to admit it.”

30 December 2003
Continuity Breakdown
If you can do something for a hundred days, you should probably be able to do it for two-hundred days. And if you can do something for a two-hundred days, you should probably be able to do it for four-hundred days. And if you can do something for four-hundred days, you should probably be able to do it for eight-hundred days. And if you can do something for eight-hundred days, you should probably be able to do it for sixteen-hundred days. And if you can do something for sixteen-hundred days, you should probably be able to do it for thirty-two hundred days. And if you can do something for thirty-two hundred days, you should probably be able to do it for sixty-four hundred days. And so on, no?

Sadly, no. I discovered earlier this year that my logic wasn’t logical at all; the continuity failed about halfway between thirty-two hundred and sixty-four hundred days.


I still don’t know if I’m supposed to ignore the curve and follow the line, or follow the line and not the curve, or something else entirely.

31 December 2003
One Book Short
A few years ago I made a new year’s resolution to complete a book a year. I didn’t finish HTF this year, I had better things to do. Maybe I’ll finish two books next year, maybe I won’t. Life is too short for quotas.

As someone who can rationalize almost anything, I suppose I would say that, wouldn’t I?

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©2003 David Glenn Rinehart