2001 Notebook: Weak XX
15 May 2001
Brainier Ale
Helen asked me what I as drinking, so I told her: Rainier Ale.

“Does it make you smarter?” she asked.

“Quite the opposite, actually,” I said. “The brew is most efficacious in preventing excess thought processes.”

“Well,” replied Helen, “if it doesn’t make you smarter, why is it called Brainier Ale?”

“I guess it must be some sort of marketing gimmick,” I lied.

Brainier Ale! What a concept!

16 May 2001
A Projection of Satisfaction
I have lots of friends. My friends are very generous with me. I do lots of favors for my friends. It’s a nice, symbiotic relationship.

Theodore, however, questioned one of my recent philanthropic acts.

“I fear, David,” he said, “that the projection of one’s satisfaction as someone else’s is a trap you should avoid.”

I did not appreciate Theodore’s advice, or any other observation that exposes my selfishness.

17 May 2001
After Talking Heads 1977
Marisa invited me to have lunch with her today. I gladly accepted her offer, especially since her company was picking up the tab.

Marisa’s an extraordinarily intelligent young woman, but I’m surprised at the gaps in her knowledge. For example, when we were listening to prerecorded music back at the laboratory, Marisa asked me about the songs.

“They’re from Talking Heads 1977,” I said. “You haven’t heard them before?”

“I think I may have been a fetus at the time,” Marisa answered.

This is where time gets confusing. I have no problem understanding that dinosaurs roamed the earth zilllions of years ago, but how can I be eating lunch with a person who’s not much younger than me—not much at all, really!—who’s never heard Talking Heads 1977?

gratuitous image
18 May 2001
Pummeling the Piñata
The kids enjoyed the piñata at the party tonight, but I thought that the ritual seemed, well, more than a little weird. What kind of parents would suspend a horse from a tree, then have their children smash it to pieces with a club?

I guess there’s a lot about parenting that I don’t understand.

19 May 2001
No Voices
Tonight, I talked Matthew about his work with mentally disturbed people suffering from “substance abuse” problems. I thought he made a wise career choice; how can you go wrong with mental disturbances and substance abuse?

I asked Matthew whether the voices his patients heard might be real. Since so many people hear voices, I thought that there was a good chance that the voices were really there.

Matthew pondered the question before replying.

“Nah, they’re all loony-tunes crazy,” Matthew said. “There are no voices.”

I nodded in assent, even though he didn’t look particularly sure of himself.

20 May 2001
So Be It
Last night, Andy asked me why I was spiriting a bottle of wine away from his wedding reception.

“I needed something about which to write today,” I answered truthfully.

Andy thought about the proposition for a small fraction of a second, smiled, punched the air, then said, “So be it.”

(Or words to that effect.)

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©2001 David Glenn Rinehart