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 Thirty-One Scientifically Recognized Isogons As Well As Two or Three Impostors of My Own Creation


W E E K  F I F T E E N

9 April 1997
Thirty-One Scientifically Recognized Isogons As Well As Two or Three Impostors of My Own Creation
I've recently spent a lot of time naming existing isogons, and creating some of dubious mathematical or philosophical validity. The twenty-two sided heptahexapentatetragon was one of my favorites; I stopped soon after discovering the sexagon. The entire set, Thirty-One Scientifically Recognized Isogons As Well As Two or Three Impostors of My Own Creation, is available in PDF format (with its accompanying technical considerations).

10 April 1997
Filicide is Suicide
Tomoya Tanaka is dead, and I know who done it: Godzilla.

Scientists don't know too much about Godzilla, but this much is clear: Tomoya Tanaka created Godzilla, and Mr. Tanaka died shortly after Godzilla died. I suppose there are those who would argue that Mr. Tanaka's death after eighty-six years was "natural," but I know better: it was Godzilla's revenge for the filicide. Creation entails many responsibilities, as both Godzilla and Mr. Tanaka would certainly agree.

11 April 1997
Scientific Mating Considerations
A scientist announced there was nothing romantic about successful human romance: it was all a matter of science. He postulated that one finds the right mate on the twelfth attempt; the first eleven romances are needed, using my vocabulary, to differentiate between wants and needs.

At the risk of offending my friends of the bovine persuasion, that's bullshit. Science has its territory, but love is far beyond the realm of mere science. If you have lots of good luck, couldn't you find eternal satisfaction with your first mate? And if you have lots of bad luck, couldn't it be your xxxth mate? And is there even such a thing as the right mate? What if the person in question doesn't want a single mate? And what if eternal satisfaction is antithetical to the whole idea of eternal satisfaction?

Science beyond the confines of science is as ridiculous as a clown beyond the confines of the circus.

12 April 1997
This Will Change Your Life
What you are about to read will revolutionize your life. It will affect the way you look at art in general; it will change the way you experience my work in particular.

I have a revelation, an insight that I will share with you. In the time you've been reading this, you're closer to your death than you were when you began reading this. You only have a finite number of seconds, heartbeats, orgasms, and breaths on this planet. It's been good for me so far; how was it for you?

13 April 1997
A Clean Idea
I found a lovely idea while I was cleaning the dishes. It was a pleasant, and not unexpected find: I frequently run across beautiful ideas while doing the washing up.

I know this is a piss-poor segue, but why do artists who do such great work when they're young make such pitiful dreck after they've been "discovered?" I used to think Cyril Connolly explained it thoroughly with the observation "Whom the gods wish to destroy they first call promising." After today's insight, though, I believe there's another explanation: "successful" people never clean up their own messes.

That's a big mistake.

14 April 1997
Music for Headaches
I began a new project today, Music for Headaches. I didn't get very far, since I need new hardware and software to make noises too complicated for humans to create. (Or, at least, too difficult for this human to make.) I'm rather pleased with this impasse, since it means I'll have to get new computer toys.

Nevertheless, I still agree with Henry David Thoreau's admonition "I say, beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes." (Clothes are silly, but toys are something else.)

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15 April 1997
Final Warning for Possible Survivors
Heaven's Gate was certainly one of the cheesier Internet publications I've seen. Its retro science fiction graphics were, unfortunately, not that unusual. But even by the (lack of) standards of the Internet, the copy--set in a Star Wars font--was pretty atrocious:

    "As was promised - the keys to Heaven's Gate are here again in Ti and Do (The UFO Two) as they were in Jesus and His Father 2000 yrs. ago."

I wouldn't have stumbled across Heaven's Gate had it not been for its creators' brilliant publicity stunt: all thirty-nine of them committed synchronized suicide. They invited others to follow their example, too.

    If you study the material on this website you will hopefully understand our joy and what our purpose here on Earth has been. You may even find your "boarding pass" to leave with us during this brief "window."

I don't think anyone's taken them up on their free boarding pass offer, but it's hard to tell: now that they've established that thirty-nine nerds killing themselves is news, I doubt any editor would consider it newsworthy if one or two dozen more followed their silly example.

My favorite part of Heaven's Gate was the text they wrote for the computers that catalog and index the Internet. It couldn't be seen by the casual observer, but made more interesting reading than the Ti and Do boarding pass nonsense ...

    content="How and When Heaven's Gate, the Door to the Physical Kingdom Level Above Human, May Be Entered. Organized Religions Are Killers of Souls. UFOs and Extraterrestrials - Sorting the Good from the Bad. Final Warning for Possible Survivors."

    meta name="keywords" content="Heaven's Gate, Heaven's Gate, Heaven's Gate, Heaven's Gate, Heaven's Gate, Heaven's Gate, ufo, ufo, ufo, ufo, ufo, ufo, space alien, space alien, space alien, space alien, space alien, space alien, extraterrestrial, extraterrestrial, extraterrestrial, extraterrestrial, extraterrestrial, extraterrestrial, millennium, millennium, millennium, millennium, millennium, millennium, millennium, misinformation, misinformation, misinformation, misinformation, misinformation, misinformation, freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom, second coming, second coming, second coming, second coming, second coming, second coming, angels, angels, angels, angels, angels, angels, end times, end times, end times, end times, end times, end times, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, God, God, God, God, God, God

    Key Words: (for search engines) 144,000, Abductees, Agnostic, Alien, Allah, Alternative, Angels, Antichrist, Apocalypse, Armageddon, Ascension, Atheist, Awakening, Away Team, Beyond Human, Blasphemy, Boddhisattva, Book of Revelation, Buddha, Channeling, Children of God, Christ, Christ's Teachings, Consciousness, Contactees, Corruption, Creation, Death, Discarnate, Discarnates, Disciple, Disciples, Disinformation, Dying, Ecumenical, End of the Age, End of the World, Eternal Life, Eunuch, Evolution, Evolutionary, Extraterrestrial, Freedom, Fulfilling Prophecy, Genderless, Glorified Body, God, God's Children, God's Chosen, God's Heaven, God's Laws, God's Son, Guru, Harvest Time, He's Back, Heaven, Heaven's Gate, Heavenly Kingdom, Higher Consciousness, His Church, Human Metamorphosis, Human Spirit, Implant, Incarnation, Interfaith, Jesus, Jesus' Return, Jesus' Teaching, Kingdom of God, Kingdom of Heaven, Krishna Consciousness, Lamb of God, Last Days, Level Above Human, Life After Death, Luciferian, Luciferians, Meditation, Members of the Next Level, Messiah, Metamorphosis, Metaphysical, Millennium, Misinformation, Mothership, Mystic, Next Level, Non Perishable, Non Temporal, Older Member, Our Lords Return, Out of Body Experience, Overcomers, Overcoming, Past Lives, Prophecy, Prophecy Fulfillment, Rapture, Reactive Mind, Recycling the Planet, Reincarnation, Religion, Resurrection, Revelations, Saved, Second Coming, Soul, Space Alien, Spacecraft, Spirit, Spirit Filled, Spirit Guide, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening, Star People, Super Natural, Telepathy, The Remnant, The Two, Theosophy, Ti and Do, Truth, Two Witnesses, UFO, Virginity, Walk-ins, Yahweh, Yeshua, Yoda, Yoga,"

And that's all they wrote. I'm sure the comma after "yoga" was no typo; I wonder what they thought comes next?

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©1997 David Glenn Rinehart