A Segmented Line Only Somewhat Longer Than Infinity/2, consisting of equal lengths and intervals of x, x, 2x, 2x, 22x, 22x, 23x, 23x, 24x, 24x ...
... with x/2 in the center of Earth.
· = x = one centillion1 sidereal light years)

W E E K  T W E L V E

19 March 1997
A Segmented Line Only Somewhat Longer Than Infinity/2
It's fun to do some boring non-photographic art again. The typography doesn't look very good on the Internet version, though; I can't do a proper infinity sign and the superscripts and subscripts made the leading look atrocious. Still, anyone who's willing to spend an inordinate time dealing with technical concerns can view and/or download a PDF copy to see how it's really supposed to look.

Nothing much has changed this century; artists are still trying to make modern art with crude materials.

20 March 1997
Slick Idea
I had an idea: art is too slick if you can fry an egg on it and the egg doesn't stick. After I thought about it, though, I thought it was pretty stupid to judge an art work by the degree of its bondage with a cooked ovum (as well as, of course, its envelope of albumen, jelly, membranes, et cetera).

In the end, it was my idea that didn't stick.

gratuitous image
21 March 1997
Today is the first day of spring. I can tell by looking in store windows, which now display the spring colors. I am an animal in touch with my environment, a product of my ecosystem.

22 March 1997
New Age Huckster
Some huckster send me a catalog full of new age business gobbledygook. My favorite was "psycho-geometrics," which asked me if I was "a box ... triangle ... circle ... rectangle ... or squiggle?" For a hundred dollars for four audio cassettes--or over two hundred dollars for thee videotapes--I was promised I would be able to "explore the 'geometry' of the personality." I would also "discover what your 'shape' says about you."

What my shape says about me is that my beer to exercise ratio is a bit higher than it should be. On the other hand, I don't feel that bad: I've never had so much to drink that I'd fall for such feeble-minded chicanery. I think the new age cozener's shape is that of a piece of excrement, to be flushed. After all, the only word that rhymes with "new age" is "sewage."

23 March 1997
Evolutionary Pressures
I've been surrounded by screaming children for so long that I can actually feel my sperm count dropping. It's rather disconcerting--yet somehow reassuring--to feel evolutionary pressures at work within my testicles.

24 March 1997
Impressionist Nonsense Way out of Hand
I heard that the Monet exhibit was temporarily closed when a woman kissed one of his paintings. The exhibit reopened after a team of conservators rushed in to remove a bit of lipstick. The exhibit didn't contain any of Money's--I mean Monet's--haystacks. Some bored curator has renamed them "grainstacks," a work that doesn't appear in any of my dictionaries.

Zut alors! This whole Impressionist nonsense has gotten way out of hand.

25 March 1997
Snake in the Pasta
A few days ago I want to put away some leftover pasta and found a small garden snake hidden among the spaghetti noodles. I just checked and s/he's still there. It must be the pesto sauce; snakes can never get enough basil.

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©1997 David Glenn Rinehart

1. U.S. definition: 1.00E+189.