4 August 1996

Feline Reverse Peristalsis Considerations

This morning an observer on the radio noted that losing a lover and having a cat vomit on the carpet were calamities of similar magnitude, except that the latter took longer to get over. Experiences here at my secret mountain laboratory with Senior Research Associate Dirk and Señor Research Associate Darran confirm this hypothesis.

Some time ago we had a salmon party and Darran suffered a case of reverse peristalsis in his alimentary canal; the carpet still smells a bit like New Jersey. Today we had another salmon party, and when things started to get out of control Dirk and Darran were sent to the NetherLab. Salmon once again went upstream, but this time the damage was easily isolated.

Darran and Dirk were soon back at their posts. I wasn't surprised: I knew they were party animals when I hired them.