gratuitous image
21 May 1996

Theological Standoff

The church gardener refuses to mow two patches of grass in the church cemetery. He claims God told him not to touch the grounds profaned by the burial of two unrepentant sinners. (No one even knows who's buried under the vegetation in question; the tombstones are worn smooth and the records were lost in a fire over a century ago.)

The priest knows sloppy landscaping is bad for business, but the gardener refuses to follow orders. He is adamant that he must follow God's will.

The congregation is divided on the issue. Some members of the church are appalled at spontaneous random flowering in the staid burial grounds. Ernie Spath sums up the pragmatic view of the gardener's supporters: "Who are we to say God didn't tell him not to mow those plots?"

The standoff continues with no end in sight.

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©1996 David Glenn Rinehart