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30 April 1996

Danger Food

A friend asked me if I knew the most common source of food poisoning. I guessed chicken, since it's rinsed in a fecal bath as part of the industrial meat processing ordeal. Anything that's been sautéed in shit has to be dangerous.


My mother had warned me never to eat commercially prepared tuna fish sandwiches and to beware of silverware that had been in contact with mayonnaise for an extended period.


I remembered that my mother never suffered from spoiled tuna or bad mayonnaise, but was taken away in an ambulance once after eating a tainted Easter egg.

None of the above.

A food safety expert told my friend that the most dangerous source of food poisoning was rice. Rice! Apparently the individual grains of rice provide a large high-protein surface area that nasty bacteria love. Rice? It all seems rather improbable, but since a specialist said it's true I suppose it must be.

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©1996 David Glenn Rinehart