gratuitous image
27 April 1996

Inflatable Cows

The Mad Cow Epidemic has, appropriately enough, reached epidemic proportions. The government has given English farmers military "adversary bags," huge thick plastic bags to be used for ten enemy bodies during "times of conflict" (or, "war," as it was previously known).

Each farmer used the bag for one infected cow carcass. Curiously, no one foresaw fundamental physical problems with the hastily-implemented disposal procedure. A decomposing cow's body generates a tremendous amount of gas. The inflated pile of bagged corpses I saw erupted into an explosive fire after it was struck by lightning.

My camera was inoperable when it happened; suffice to say it was a spectacular catastrophe.

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©1996 David Glenn Rinehart