gratuitous image
30 January 1996

Bifurcated Banana

Clare heard that gorillas eat their bananas from the middle outward. My linear mind has difficulty understanding this.

I know two gorillas, so I should have empirical evidence to support or refute this improbable proposition. Unfortunately, the gorillas' guardians never let me spend much time with their charges. They wanted Michael to impregnate Koko, but Koko was interested in almost every human male she saw, but not poor Michael. In order to make Michael Koko's only option, her keepers forbade her to see any males except Michael.

The whole exercise was of course futile, as any parent of a teenager could have predicted. The Koko compound, devoid of baby gorilla gurglings and thumpings, is a platinum mine for psychiatrists.

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©1996 David Glenn Rinehart